Fallen out of love

It’s been nearly a year since I broke up with girlfriend. It was c lean and peaceful breakup, I tell you. Actually I was the mean one if you think about it…

“Amber! Buy me coffee!” Krystal whined when we were walking toward class.

“It’s only 10 minutes till class start, Krys. If I go, I’ll be late,” I responded.

“You’re so mean, and you call this love? You’re not willing to do anything for me,” Krystal exclaimed and stormed off.

“Baby! Wait up,” I got after her, stopped her by grabbing her arm, “ok, wait for me in class, I’ll go get you coffee from your favorite place.” 

Brushed off my hands, she said,

“I hate you.  You only be good to me under conditions. If I weren’t mad at you, you wouldn’t buy me coffee. Just forget it,” with that she walked off.

Honestly, that’s not the first time. She throws tantrum, she ignores for many times, and yet right now, I’m walking to the coffee shop that is across from the street. Walking there doesn’t take much time, but waiting for the coffee does need a lot of time. I arrived class late, yet once again, this time 15 minutes late and the teacher kept on staring at me because it’s not the first time. Well, everyone is looking, and seriously, I’m not happy about it. Sat down next to her, she didn’t even look at me. She didn’t even drink that coffee!

“Why don’t you drink it? I thought you wanted to coffee,” I asked her in whisper.

“I want coffee that a person is willing to buy it, not a type of coffee that is forced to buy,” she responded clearly and sharply.

I am really fuming. I stood up, grabbed the coffee, and,

“Mrs. Ly, I would like to leave early today. I’m feeling nausea,” with that I walked off and dropped the coffee in the bin.

 I didn’t catch her face, but I heard my friends said she was terrified. Well, I’ve had enough. You see it’s been like 3 years now I’ve been tolerating. I feel like it’s not love we are having. It’s fulfilling another’s person need using the word ‘LOVE’.

She called me hundreds of time, but I didn’t answer.

I completely ignored her because I wanted her to have the taste of her own medicine.

Therefore, she kept sending me text messages, which I found so annoying. It comes out as ‘hey!’, ‘Jerk!’, ‘I hate you’, ‘hey! Answer me!’   

And I was wondering what she was thinking. Did she really think I would reply or answer the calls upon hearing what she called me? What’s up in her brain? I thought she was smart when I first love her.

Mid night passed, she sent me a text, a very touching one.

“Amber, I’m so sorry about everything. I actually wanted to keep a secret from you forever. I have lung cancer, Am. I won’t live long. That’s why I went so frustrated and throw out my anger at you. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me,”

So she had cancer.

I should just break up with her right now then. What’s the point of dating? She’s gonna die anyway, so this relationship is such a waste. Then I replied,

“It’s OK. I forgive you, but please let’s just break up. I think I’ve already fallen out of love. Before you die, you should find somebody that love you more than I do.”

That’s the last text I’ve ever sent her, and I never heard from her since then.  The next day I go to school, I don't see her there anymore. I heard she changed shift. I suppose my text is strong enough to kill a person who will die soon actually. I really sounded so harsh. I sometimes scared of myself too. 6 months has passed, and here I am, dating another person, Ailee. She seems so fake, but well she’s rich. 

Better date a rich girl than a dying one. 

Out of the cinema, I saw Krystal. She aged a lot. She seems 10 years older than she really is. Had she have to go through a bad treatment? Being a bad person I am, I rushed to her, greeted her nicely, and even introduced her to my new girlfriend. I see that she is with a good looking man too.

“Hey, how are you? I thought you wouldn't make it living!” Ailee slapped my hand after I asked. 

Krystal’s boyfriend looked straight at me as if he’s about to punch me. Yeah, I know I’m behaving like JB or something. (No offense JB fan).

“Thanks, I’m doing well. I live, no worries. I don’t want to die easily. I see you’ve got a woman,” she smiled at me, talking so peacefully. No sarcasm whatsoever. I was shocked; this is not the Krystal I knew. 

“Yeah, Ailee, she’s sweet. Anyway, it was nice seeing you. Need to go now, bye,” I replied before walking pass her. 

I may sound bad, but really a girl should date a rich person, not a dying person.  A rich girl can provide for you, you named it - money, shelter, expensive stuffs, medical bills, and so many other things. 

A person with leukemia like me don’t deserve her; there’s no cure for me. So, live your life, Krys. I love you so much that I need to let you go.