"If you love 2 persons at the same time, choose the second one because if you truly love the first one, you wouldn't have a space in heart for the second one."
It's a very popular quote I've seen it on Instagram many times shared by friends, colleagues, some people I wasn't even sure why I followed in the first place. So why did many people share that quote? I suppose because it was very easy to relate which is why I also shared it.
And... because of that post I shared, my girlfriend started to grew insecure of me. That doesn't make sense, right?
Everyday, I have my adorable girlfriend chatting to ask for my well-being, checking if I drink enough water or not, telling me not to eat too much sweet, and so on. She is truly sweet. However, since I shared that post, she reduce the amount of chats sending to me. She doesn't ask as much as before nor did she try to meet up with me. Before she would always ask me if I'm free over the weekend, and book me like 2 weeks in advance. Feeling like we are distancing from each other, I finally decided to ask her on date to a romantic steak dinner (it's her favorite).
"Hey, babe!" I called out through the phone happily.
"Am...what's up?" she replied lazily, sounding as though she doesn't want to talk at all which made my heart sank immediately after hearing her voice. Normally, she would exclaim, yell, or shout in excitement, yet not today...
"Uhm, I was wondering if you're free tonight? How about we go to that newly opened steak restaurant?" I suggested sweetly, hiding my sorrow.
"Hmm...today? You should have told beforehand! I already have my hands full this evening. Maybe next time. I need to go now," Krystal ended the call harshly. She sounds like she's in a hurry.
What can she possibly be doing tonight? Normally, she would agree even before I could finish my sentences properly. Maybe she'll tell me later tonight about she did today, whenever she's free. With that in mind, I tried to reject all the negative thoughts of Krystal stopped loving me away. Instead of the fancy steak restaurant, I ringed up Luna, who right now should have just finished shooting, asking her if she has time for cocktails tonight. She's actually with her boyfriend!
"Oh? You're with your boyfriend? Then it's ok. I can go alone. You should spend more time with him!"
"No, just go to the sky bar and wait for me. I've been seeing him the whole day and I don't want to see him anymore right now. Not in the mood for lovey dovey," Luna spoke angrily through the line, scaring me because Luna rarely gone mad.
"Ok, ok. I'm leaving now then. See ya!" with that, I hang up. Driving from my workplace to that sky bar should takes me for only around 15 minutes; and if there's traffic, then might take up to 2 hours. Traffic is so damn bad nowadays! Too many people owning too many cars.
Shortly after, I climbed up to the roof top. It's a perfect place, and I love Luna for knowing so many of these relaxing places. The background music is so low that it sounds like people humming behind your ears. The air is so fresh since it's along the river. Waiters and waitresses are so young and beautiful! Wha else I can ask for?!
Oh right, lower the food price please. I still can't figure out why a small plate of french fries cost me 5 bucks. It's ridiculous. Still, I ordered french fries. I don't want to eat anything, not at all.
Sitting there waiting for Luna, I lost myself in the beauty of rows of cars that are stuck in the traffic, seemingly not going to move anytime soon. Next to the road, there is a big long park where you can't see the end of it. Whoa, I'm a lot better now. It's like taking a mountain off my chest, allowing me to breathe better. Things at work recently just keep stressing me out.
Luna quietly walked up to my table, sat down, and pulled out her phone to chat.
How adorable of her, don't you think?
"Yah! I'm here dying! And you came without even saying hi?!!" I faked the argument.
"Yah! Since when did you start to care about me saying hi or not?! Jesus, let me kill you now so that you don't have to feel like dying!" Luna snapped back. Yep, she's 100% fought with her boyfriend. I don't think it's her boyfriend's fault though because when it comes to lover, Luna is very very very serious.
She continued, "I broke up with him many times, and made up many times. Not because I still love him that much, but it's because I don't want to waste time knowing another new guy."
A logical type of person she is, she even stated proudly that she already found some guys better than her boyfriend but she's sure her boyfriend is a good husband material.
In contrast, I'm a very emotional person. Emotional, not mood swing, alright? These two words are completely different.
"And what brings you here? Having your mood swing again?" she asked, staring straight into my eyes.
"Yahhhh!!! I've told you many times! It's not mood swing! It's called emotional, EMOTIONAL! If I'm having a mood swing, I'm so close to being a bipolar!" I exclaimed back.
"Alright, whatever you call it. So? Work? Love? Sex? Money?" Luna asked casually. Sometimes I'm scared of her questions.
"All....?" I dropped my voice low because hearing her choices reminds me that I really have all those problems.
To response, she just glares at me, and glances away when she cannot glares anymore. She, then, turns her head back slowly in shocked. I look at her shocked face, not understanding why, but when I followed her eyes to where she had laid her eyes on earlier, it also shocked me.
My Krystal. She's right there, kissing with a guy, a fair looking guy with a very handsome body which I can easily tell regardless of how many layers of shirts he wears.
This left me speechless.
So, Krystal is cheating on me?
My brain didn't take that long to process such sudden incident. It summons my tears to drop repeatedly, not caring if there's anybody staring. It also punches my heart to a deep sharp pain. I thought I was literally stabbed.
"How..." I mumbled to herself, but Luna must have heard it.
"You've been ignoring her. Maybe she thinks it's time for a change," Luna spoke softly, blaming me for turning Krystal into a cheater.
"Are you blaming this on me? I've been working my ass off for who?! For her! She wanted clothes, I got her. She wanted this extremely expensive person, I never say no. She wanted a condo, so I'm saving up and working the shit out of myself to look for condo that I can just lease! By doing everything for her, she thinks it's time to change a lover and cheat on me?" I keep on crying. I wanted to sound harsh, bold, and mad, but I turned my voice into a pathetic little girl cry.
"She did warn you, Am, but you were too naive," Luna reminded me of when I ignored Krystal words.
-------Flashback--------
Just a year before graduating, Amber and Krystal started to fight more than usual. She's been 3 years of dating, but Amber still doesn't truly understand her girlfriend's needs.
Amber has never been a sweet talker. She also can't console anyone.
Yet, those are all what Krystal has always wanted from the tomboy.
Before school, Amber would grab coffee and breakfast for her girlfriend. It has became a habit, and she never missed a day. She thought it was the sweetest thing she could do already, and Krystal was always so over the moon when getting coffee. She also never missed a day of kissing Amber's cheek for breakfast.
However, Amber never listens to what Krystal said, suggested, or presented. At the end of the day, she would look as clueless as usual when Krystal started a conversation of her favorite topic. Amber never shared her interests or hobbies with her lover. Amber never remembered Krystal's birthday or anniversary. Amber was never the one who ring Krystal up or ask her on a date. Even worse, Amber was never the one who keep checking on her lover. Worst of all, she was the one who always replied late to her girlfriends' chats.
"I've had enough of you, Amber!" Krystal shouted at Amber right in her face.
"What did I do?!" Amber shook her head in misbelief, trying to reason with Krystal.
"Oh? So you think you've been doing so far is what I've always wanted?! Amber! It's been 4 years, and you do not know that all I ever wanted is you! Your soul! Not your money!" Krystal voice started to crack. Her eyes were getting teary.
"Seriously, Krys. You like to ask for this and that nonstop, and now you say you only want my soul, not my money? Don't you think it's a bit too funny?" Amber shouted back. In her eyes, Krystal is just a materialistic girl who only make up arguments whenever she wanted something because she knew that Amber would buy things to sooth her.
"I see. You think I'm a sugar baby of yours?" Krystal chuckled, "maybe it's true. If you love 2 people at the same, go for the second one because you won't have space for that person if you truly love the first one." With that, she wiped her tears and walked away.
---------------------------
Even though Amber didn't apologize, Krystal still didn't break up. Now, just 4 months after that incident, Amber begin to notice a little. Yet, it's a bit too late.
She's gonna leave. I'm sure. So that quote, she said it not because that she suspected me in cheating, but she actually doubt that she's having feeling for another person.
Now she has made her choice.
Go for the second one.
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Hey guys! Sorry for this sad one shot.
Just feeling sad for Kryber...
I'll try to think of something more cheering to write about.
Love,
December12
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